♪ sha la la oh sha la la listen honey here comes my man ♪ ♪ and maybe time will tell you ♪ ♪ why i've got so much hell to sell you ♪ ♪ please please understand me oh you can't just dance around me ♪ ♪ maybe your work will love you when i'm just not there to hold you ♪ ♪ maybe your pride can be your companion oh but i just won't be there to stand for it ♪ ♪ not one more minute will i stand for it oh whoa ♪ ♪ you'll find me singing baby oh sha la la oh sha la la ♪ ♪ listen honey here comes my man singing oh sha la la ♪

♪ oh sha la la listen honey here comes my man ♪ ♪ singing oh sha la la oh sha la la listen honey here comes my man ♪ ♪ singing oh sha la la oh sha la la ♪ listen honey here comes my man ♪ ♪ and here comes my man and here comes my man here comes my man ♪ ♪ here comes my man [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: gaslight anthem. nice job, guys. good to see you again. i missed you before. hey, guys. i missed you guys before. how you doing? welcome back. good to see you again. i want to thank my guests -- liam neeson, of course, lisa lampanelli and the gaslight anthem. tomorrow night, christina aguilera! but emmy winner jimmy fallon, coming up next!

jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much! i feel the love.

thank you so much, everybody. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i am your host, jimmy fallon and i'm sad to announce i will no longer be officiating tonight's browns/ravens game. sorry. [ laughter ] that's right. the strike is over. the nfl referees have signed an eight-year contract, which means no more replacement refs. [ cheers and applause ] you know, those guys made a lot of bad calls. but not all of them were bad. in fact, let's take a look back at all the calls the nfl replacement refs actually got right. >> false start. >> jimmy: there you go. [ laughter ] >> that was a very good call. >> jimmy: nice job. very good job. >> that's a very good call. >> jimmy: this is crazy. turns out that one of the replacement refs on monday night, works as vice president at a bank of america branch. [ light laughter ] so in other words, he's leaving a job where football fans hated

him and going back to one where everyone hates him. [ laughter ] there's going to be a hating fee. we charge 3% if you want to hate me. so -- here's a campaign update. during a speech yesterday, president obama accidentally said he wants to export more jobs. then he corrected himself and said he meant to say products. and then he corrected himself to say, "oh, who gives a crap. i'm still going to win." [ cheers and applause ] i mean, does it matter at this point? [ cheers and applause ] doesn't matter dude! i don't even have to wear a shirt. i don't care. >> i'd like to see that. this is interesting. i actually read about a man who actually went to high school with mitt romney and then later went to law school with president obama. when asked how going to school with two presidential candidates makes him feel the guy was like, "bad about my job at arby's." [ laughter ] thanks a lot. get this, new york governor andrew cuomo announced that those drivers who get five duis will now have their license

revoked. so now new york drivers can rest safe knowing that everyone else on the road only has a maximum of four duis. [ laughter ] great job new york! [ cheers and applause ] that makes me feel real good. >> only four. >> jimmy: let them try one more time. five strikes and you're out. i heard that tlc will air "here comes honey boo-boo" thanksgiving -- [ scattered cheers ] -- thanksgiving and christmas specials. [ cheers ] so now you've got to spend the holidays with two families you don't understand. [ light laughter ] and finally, security workers at jfk airport are complaining that they don't have enough time to do their jobs thoroughly. not good. the last time i flew, the tsa guy was like, "eh, just grope yourself." [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: hey, everybody. we have a big show tonight. you love her on "modern family," sofia vergara is on the show! [ cheers and applause ] she's awesome. beautiful, fun. plus, this guy just won an emmy for his role on the awesome showtime series "homeland," so psyched for him. damien lewis is back on the show! [ cheers and applause ] that's really great. major show. and finally, the host of the food network show "sandwich king," chef jeff mauro is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] making something special for us. cannot wait for that. "sandwich king" is a great show. i watched it the other night. and i love it, love it, love it. it's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] lyle lovett, what are you doing here?

>> you said my name three times, so here i am. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you appeared because i said your name three times? what are you like, beetlejuice? [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: so if i say it three more times, it makes you go away? >> yeah. [ ominous music ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: lovett. >> no. no. >> jimmy: lovett. >> don't do it. >> jimmy: lovett. [ audience aws ] >> see you later. >> jimmy: take care, buddy. lyle lovett. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> that's all it took. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: lyle lovett, everybody. how great is that guy? [ cheers and applause ] stick around. right back with "late night hashtags," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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♪ ♪ father and son >> here where he are at the stadium. watching the baseball game together. this is the game that was discovered by abner doubleday. [ hits baseball ] can you say the words abner doubleday? show your daddy that you can say those words. abner doubleday, abener doubleday. abner doubleday, abner doubleday. abner doubleday. [ humming ] [ humming ] --day abner doubleday. abner doubleday. abner doubleday. abner doubleday. abner doubleday. abner -- ♪ ♪ father and son [ cheers and applause ]

>> what does he want him to say? >> jimmy: i love that he just hummed it at one point. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: [ humming ] >> -- he didn't want to break his rhythm. >> jimmy: he knew he was saying, "abner doubleday." welcome back, to our show, you guys. it's time for "late night hashtags!" here we go! ♪ hashtag hashtag hashtag ♪ hashtag hashtag [ applause ] >> jimmy: these are lists, on twitter, you guys, where we give you the topic, and you send in the tweets. so because of the recent controversy over the nfl replacement referees, i went on twitter and started a hashtag called, #oopsmybad. [ light laughter ] and i asked you guys at home to tweet us something funny, weird or embarrassing that you've done. we got thousands of tweets, in fact, within a half hour, it was a trending topic in the united states -- which is awesome. so, thank you for those tweets. [ cheers and applause ] and now, i share some of my favorites #oopsmybad tweets from you guys. here we go. this first one's from @villa51.

he says, "on a first date, the waitress asked me if i wanted my burger cooked medium. i was confused and responded with 'no, large.'" [ laughter ] not talking about the size of the burger, sir. the temperature. >> steve: don't shrink my burger. >> jimmy: this one's from @bennetthazleton. he says, "texted my married friend, i'll bring over my laptop and get on your wi-fi. my phone changed wi-fi to wife." [ laughter ] >> steve: get on my -- the hell you will. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i'll bring over my laptop and get on your wife. [ light laughter ] oops. this one from @msemail. he says, "on the doorstep with a girl after our first kiss, i was at a loss for words. i turned to a nearby broom and said, 'cool broom.'" [ laughter ] smooth move, man. >> pretty cool broom. >> jimmy: pretty cool broom over there. >> bet she dropped her keys. >> jimmy: this one's from @kristahollis.

she says, "while under the influence of laughing gas at the dentist, i told my mom how much i love marijuana." [ laughter ] this one's from @emailmanwich. she says, "i took a photo of a guy asleep on the subway. my flash went off and woke him up. we rode ten more stops together." [ laughter ] "hey, how is it going? sorry about that. i was just taking a photo of you sleeping." this one from @drjtitus. he said, "i explained to grandma what planking was. guess what happened in the next family photo?" look at this. >> jimmy: here's grandma, right there. [ laughter ] [ imitating grandma ] "i'm planking." >> jimmy: yes. [ imitating grandma ] "i'm planking." >> jimmy: that's pretty funny. this one's from @paultrafka. he says, "after my first kiss, i said, 'that was my first kiss.'" [ laughter ] >> steve: cool broom. [ laughter ] wanna plank? >> jimmy: this one's from @a4dzack13.

she says, "i yelled at a waitress for not giving me four tortillas. she then pointed to the menu and said, 'flour tortillas.'" [ laughter ] "well, then -- sorry, i think you spelled it wrong. see, it's four." >> jimmy: this one's from @jeffreylavender. he says, "i once ordered a small black coffee at dunkin donuts, but said 'small black woman' by accident, because i was standing next to a small black woman." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "i'll have the -- the jelly doughnut and a small black woman." this last one, @dollforrob. she says, "at my son's birthday party, kids were hitting the pinata but nothing was coming out. i didn't know it came empty. eight crying kids." [ laughter ] "my bad!" there you have it, tonight's "late night hashtag." check out more of our favorites. go to latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/ hashtags. stick around.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest has a successful clothing line at kmart and is the emmy-nominated star of abc's "modern family," which airs wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. look how pretty she is. oh, my goodness. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the lovely sofia vergara! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ she's built oh, she's stacked she's got all the curves that men like ♪ ♪ she's built oh, she's stacked ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> why didn't you tell me you were going to put a blue chair? >> jimmy: a blue chair? yeah -- look. you look great. >> yeah?

>> jimmy: you have a classier blue. >> can you see? can you see? now, they can't see. >> jimmy: no, they can see. trust me. yeah, yeah. they can see. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous, as always. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: sofia. [ spanish accent ] i almost feel like i have to talk with an accent with you. [ light laughter ] >> everybody thinks they have to talk -- and actually, i understand better. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, well then -- >> you talk like that the whole show, i'll understand everything. >> jimmy: now, what -- now, what happened backstage? 'cause i know that you were having a little problem with -- you got a new phone. you don't like it. you don't love it. you've got the iphone 5. >> i know but -- >> jimmy: everyone loves this thing. >> i can't -- yeah, i mean, i just started using it but it's very confusing. i don't know. i think i'm gonna have to cut my nails because i cannot do the thingy and then i cannot -- [ light laughter ] i cannot talk to it because, i mean, the accent, of course. [ laughter ] so -- >> jimmy: she's like -- [ as siri ] "i can't understand a word you just said." >> very, very racist, that phone. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's racist. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, we'll work on that.

congratulations again to you. "modern family" just won again. best comedy out there. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ well-deserved. you have a great show. well written, well directed. with steve levitan. >> steve levitan, chris lloyd and, you know, a great group of writers that -- you know, they're genius -- i can't believe that every week, they surprise us with a better and better table read. >> jimmy: they are really good. you surprised us with -- you tweeted out a photo. can you just explain. what is this? [ cheers ] now, what is that? >> that's a little accident that happened to me that night. >> jimmy: this -- is this the top or the bottom? [ laughter ] >> what do you think? >> jimmy: i have no idea. >> audience member: bottom! whoo! >> jimmy: that is -- is that your -- >> it was the -- the pumpies. i don't know how you call them in english. >> jimmy: pumpies? >> in spanish, you call them the pumpies but i -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what -- this is the pumpies. i'm still-- i still don't know if it's the top or the bottom.

>> the booty. the booty. >> jimmy: that is the booty? that is your -- >> the booty, yeah. >> jimmy: this is your -- this is your behind that you're showing. >> don't touch me! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm not touching you! [ applause ] "don't touch me." >> have you no respect? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm covering you up. i was covering you up. what happened? >> it was -- you know, i don't know what happened. i just went to say -i i was sitting down, watching the show. i didn't do anything outrageous. nothing crazy. i saw julie bowen coming down with her award. i was going to take a picture with her and i got up to take a picture and then i see my boyfriend and my friend -- like, running behind me, "no!" [ laughter ] and i'm like, "what? it's a commercial." i mean, because usually, they force you to stay on your seat but not then. they were with me. i'm like, "what? what? i'm going to take a picture." "no, sit down! sit down!" and i'm like, "what?" because i keep touching here and i didn't feel anything weird. so, i'm like, "what are they talking about?" >> jimmy: did it feel cooler to you? >> no, no. [ laughter ]

it didn't. you don't think i would have reacted to something fresh in there or -- >> jimmy: people were just yelling -- [ laughter ] i don't know. -- somebody's point, going, "your pumpolito!" [ laughter ] >> i don't know what they were saying. >> jimmy: "pumpolitos!" i don't know what they are. >> i thought that they were trying to sit me down because i always try to mingle with everybody and everybody -- they always try to sit me down when the show is gonna start. so, that's what i thought. but then i saw ed o'neill grabbing his head like this. i'm like, "ed, is it --" he's like -- and, you know -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. he got a view. >> the bad thing was that 20 minutes after that, we were supposed to -- to get the award. i mean, we didn't know that we was gonna win but i thought we were going to win so i didn't want to miss the opportunity to go with everybody up there. >> jimmy: yeah, 'cause then you have to walk onstage like this, facing forward. >> i know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and then, leaving this way, like -- somebody wheeling you out of the frame. and wheeling you back in. >> it would have been really weird because it was not just a little crack. it was a window. [ laughter ] it was -- >> jimmy: it's a pretty decent sized crack.

let's be honest. that's the -- [ laughter ] >> yeah, that was without moving. my boyfriend took that picture for me because i couldn't believe what was -- i am like, "it can't be that bad." it's like -- he's like, "let me take a picture. move!" so, he took it and showed it to me. then i realized how the emergency was bad. [ laughter ] i didn't get to see you at any of the parties but i know you went with a lot of family. >> yeah, my whole -- well, not my whole family but some of my family -- 19 of us. >> jimmy: that's not your whole family? [ light laughter ] how many in your whole family? >> well, my birthday was like 100 and something and it was just like the really, really close ones. the ones that could come. >> jimmy: that's just the really close family? 100 and something people? >> yeah. >> jimmy: happy birthday, by the way. happy belated birthday. >> thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you blew it out. you had a big party. >> yeah, my 40th, so, you know, it's special. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh, so it's gorgeous. i mean -- >> so, i did something like, you know, i tried to make it very special for everybody. i flew, like, my family to mexico, to an amazing place, the rosewood mayakoba and it was like heaven.

>> jimmy: really? >> everybody dancing since the moment we landed. >> jimmy: really? just like pool parties and jumping in the ocean and just boozing it up? >> everything. partying and partying. i mean, i invited julie bowen and the rest of the cast. jesse and steve levitan. >> jimmy: a lot of were people invited. >> i was a little bit scared they were gonna think that we were crazy but they really -- >> jimmy: my invitation must've got lost in the mail. but it's okay. [ laughter ] i'll go to the next 40th. >> i've only seen you one time in my life. >> jimmy: something else big happened on that mexican vacation, my friend. [ light laughter ] didn't it? can i see your hand? >> ah. >> jimmy: ah! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! >> it's from my kmart collection. >> jimmy: holy manolo. >> it's from the kmart collection. look, this is -- >> jimmy: that is not from the kmart collection! >> it is from the kmart collection. and this and the dress. everything is from the kmart collection.

>> jimmy: now, you have a lot but then, what is -- that is not -- that's a different aisle of kmart i've never been down before. [ laughter ] and i wanna tell my wife -- "stay away from that aisle!" >> fine jewelry collection. >> jimmy: that's what i'm gonna tell my wife, to stay away from that aisle in kmart. congratulations to you. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: you deserve it. that's great. all the best to you. let's talk about the kmart collection thing. i see these commercials on there. you look like you're having a good time with this. >> yeah, i love it. you know what? it's been something that i wanted to do for a long time because i always knew that i wanted to -- you know -- have another business and, you know -- >> jimmy: acting and whatever. >> but being there all the time with my body with my face, you know? sometimes you're sick. some accidents happens. so, i knew that i wanted to create, like an income for myself and something that i enjoy when, you know, time -- and i found kmart as the best partner. we creates this line that -- it's doing very well. create beautiful clothes. comfortable. look at this dress. >> jimmy: no, that's beautiful. you also -- >> $39.99. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and you can get the crotchless version for ten

dollars cheaper. [ light laughter ] it comes with no -- no crotch. >> that doesn't happen with a kmart -- >> jimmy: it doesn't happen with a kmart -- >> of course not. >> jimmy: let's just be clear about that. we gotta talk about "modern family" because it's back. in this season, your character has some big news as well. >> yeah, she's pregnant. gloria's pregnant. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it's been very difficult to shoot because there's like a fake belly and it's been very hot in l.a. >> jimmy: it is very hot. you have to wear a big, fat -- >> it feels like i'm really pregnant. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> it's uncomfortable but it's been fun. i think, you know, it brings like a different flavor to gloria. she's screaming more than usual. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] so, is the baby -- hasn't arrived this season or we're not sure yet? >> i hope so. what are they gonna postpone it for how many seasons? no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know. are you excited to work with the baby? >> i am not excited to work with the baby. [ laughter ] no. >> jimmy: you should lie to me.

lie and say you're psyched to work with the baby. >> no. because, you know, ed and rico and i -- you know, we come very prepared. we know our scenes. we read over it. we know already our dynamic. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and now a baby -- there's -- you know they always have two. and then one cries. they bring the other one. they change the diaper. [ groans ] it's going to be a nightmare. and when -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's so cute. >> i love working with "modern family" but i also have a life, you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's gonna be certain scenes where gloria isn't in the scene. like, "oh, i guess i'm watching the baby this weekend." [ laughter ] they can write you out a couple of them. >> yeah, i hope that they write, like, a very good babysitter. [ laughter ] like, a really funny one. >> jimmy: a really funny babysitter. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. i have a clip of the great sofia vergara in "modern family." let's take a look at this, please. >> i'm just hoping that that little one over there doesn't get jealous. >> oh, this little one will be just fine now that he knows where he stands. in the shadow of your new baby! >> what's he talking about?

>> he's talking about i am pregnant. >> oh, come on! >> you gotta be kidding me! >> oh, gross. i didn't know grandpa could still do it. >> don't be disrespectful, luke. anyone could do it with gloria. [ laughter ] >> -- to be happy about it! i can raise it on my own! i have done it before and i can do it now! i come from a very long line of strong, latin women whose husbands are nowhere to be found! [ laughter ] >> are you done? >> yes! >> can i say something? >> go on! >> that's the greatest news i've ever heard. >> it is? >> jimmy: ah. [ cheers and applause ] that's why the show is so good. >> yeah. >> jimmy: funny. and it touches the heart. hey, every time when we have guests on the show, we like to play different games with them. and i was wondering if you would like to play a game of beer pong. [ cheers and applause ] >> i remember the last time i came, i won. >> jimmy: did you remember that? >> we played something and i won, i think. >> jimmy: i don't think so. [ laughter ] but we will play.

have you ever played beer pong? >> ping pong? >> jimmy: beer pong. [ laughter ] i'm assuming you haven't played beer pong. >> no. >> jimmy: you're gonna love it. >> where am i gonna play that? >> jimmy: sofia vergara and i are playing beer pong when we get back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ well, i have been quietly standing in the shade ♪ ♪ all of my days ♪ and i've been trying to find [ male announcer ] unlimited phone... unlimited data... unlimited life. the galaxy s3 unlimited edition with truly unlimited data. from sprint.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. i'm here with the great sofia vergara, and we're going head to head in beer pong. all right, sofia, the rules are simple. we'll take turns, one shot each. if the ball lands in your cup, you chug the beer. >> with the ball? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't have to chug the ball, but, yeah -- you chug the beer. and --you can take the ball out. >> okay. >> jimmy: if you want to chug the ball, you can go for it. [ laughter ] i've never -- it's going to be tough -- >> it sounds more fun -- >> jimmy: it's going to be tough tomorrow. i gotta tell ya that one. [ laughter ] the first to land two wins. you go ahead, and you can throw first. ladies first, please. >> okay. >> jimmy: as my guest. and you're going to love it. you want to practice once? >> no, let's do it. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. let's go. ♪ >> by which one? where? >> jimmy: any one of these. ♪ >> oh, no! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you yelling like that for? >> i drink now? >> jimmy: no, you don't drink

yet. [ laughter ] >> oh. >> jimmy: you're awesome! but, no, not yet. ♪ [ light laughter ] all right. whoa, hey. >> you drink then. >> jimmy: no! no, you gotta land it in the cup! >> so the award is drinking. >> jimmy: no, the reward is not to drink. [ light laughter ] you want to make me drink. you want to force me to drink. >> shut up! [ light laughter ] [ audience ohs ] ♪ >> jimmy: ugh, sorry. i'm off. >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ] i win, i win, i knew! ♪ [ rhythmic clapping ] it was with the whole ball. >> jimmy: you don't have to take the whole ball. all right. here we go. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ rhythmic clapping ] >> audience: drink, drink, drink!

[ cheers ] there -- no, no, no. stop, stop, stop. >> what? >> jimmy: only one. only drink one. now you can throw it -- try to -- >> what do i do with this one? >> jimmy: you put it off to the side. there you go. now, all right. here's the deal. next one, that sinks one wins the whole thing. >> and it's my turn. >> jimmy: and it is your turn, yes. ♪ >> silence. [ laughter ] stay cool! >> jimmy: but, i have to distract you, maybe. >> no, wait! wait! >> jimmy: stop it! [ laughter ] >> all right. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: all right. go, go, go. >> i go? >> jimmy: yeah. ♪ [ bonk ] [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: bam! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] i'll do it, i'll do it. i can do it. >> i do it -- >> jimmy: you sure? you gonna do it? i'll do it -- i'll do it for you. ♪

[ rhythmic clapping ] [ cheers ] there you go, guys! the great sofia vergara! check out "modern family" wednesdays at 9:00 pm on abc. you're going to love it, love it, love it, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] with swiffer dusters, a great clean doesn't have to take longer. i'm done. i'm gonna read one of these. i'm gonna read one of these! [ female announcer ] unlike sprays and dust rags, swiffer 360 duster's extender gets into hard-to-reach places without the hassle. so you can get unbelievable dust pickup in less time without missing a thing. i love that book. can you believe the twin did it? ♪ swiffer. great clean in less time. or your money back. at red lobster. there's so many choices, the guests love it! [ male announcer ] don't miss endless shrimp. try as much as you like, anyway you like. like new teriyaki grilled shrimp

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today they share nothing, but a wrapper and a driveway. try both and pick a side.

♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: our next guest had a great start to his week, winning the emmy for "outstanding lead actor in a drama series" for his portrayal of nicholas brody on "homeland," a great tv show that begins its second season this sunday at 10:00 p.m. on showtime. please welcome back to our show a talented man. here's damian lewis! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. welcome back to our show. please, have a seat. >> thank you, thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: and congratulations, "outstanding lead actor in a drama series" after season one. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you. >> jimmy: i was so happy for you because, you know, i'm a fan. >> were you as surprised as i was? >> jimmy: no, i was not as surprised as you are. but i did -- i wrote it down because it really made me laugh.

you get up and you go -- you have the accent, of course. >> can you do me? >> jimmy: [ british accent ] "well, not really, but kind of." [ laughter ] >> "i caught a blimey, 'mary poppins.'" [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no, i go -- [ british accent ] "i don't really believe in the judging of art. but i thought i'd show up, just in case." [ laughter ] that really made me laugh. and then it was -- yeah, it was -- you had a great, cute speech. it was very good. were you shocked and surprised? >> yeah, i was overwhelmed and utterly surprised. there were lots of good reasons for me not to win that night. >> jimmy: a lot of good categories. >> five of them were read out just before me. >> jimmy: no, yeah. but this is great. i mean, gosh, "homeland," is killing it, though. it was such -- i mean, it's amazing. >> man, it's been -- it's been a lot of fun. >> and then, this is a lot of fun. "vogue" put out the top ten dressed celebrities of the night of the emmys. top ten. out of everybody! thousands of people there, right? >> why would we be interested in that? >> jimmy: i'll tell you exactly why. reason number seven and number four. >> wait a minute! >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] there you go.

that's what i'm talking about. "vogue" magazine. the fashion bible. >> there's nothing wrong with that. >> jimmy: there's nothing wrong with that at all. >> and ten i sat next to number one in a restaurant last night. >> jimmy: did you really? >> isn't that fantastic. >> jimmy: she's great. >> come in number one. hey wait a minute. why are you four, and why am i seven? [ light laughter ] i'm thinking of asking. >> jimmy: wait yeah, because i was in front of something -- where were you. you were on the streets somewhere. [ laughter ] were you even at the emmys? i mean, i definitely was there. where's that photo of your from? >> that's actually my head on someone else's body. >> jimmy: that's you in your backyard, like putting the -- you're a stylish gentleman. i saw you over there, and saw our buddy, nobody would know this, but we were in "band of brothers" together. >> it's true. >> jimmy: i was in an episode of "band of brothers." [ cheers and applause ] >> we had a scene together. it was fantastic. it was -- it was a momentous scene. >> jimmy: yeah. there was some momentum to it. >> a little bit. >> jimmy: a little bit of it. i barely moved in that jeep. tom hanks directed that.

>> yeah. >> jimmy: that episode. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i know he had a lot to do with it "band of brothers." him and steven spielberg. how did you get that role? >> i just auditioned for that 59 million times. and they gave it to me. and then i was flown to l.a. i met tom and just thought the whole thing had gone so well, i went out and got wrecked that night. i just couldn't believe it. >> jimmy: yeah, i just hung out tom hanks! oh my god! >> twenty something. they're putting me up in a nice hotel. i met tom hanks. and then i went out -- >> jimmy: what if your voice stayed like that? then you would have never have won an emmy. >> yeah. oh, hello i'm richard winters. [ laughter ] and then -- >> jimmy: a little bit, yeah you can do him. >> but not. i love him. >> jimmy: oh yeah. >> so i went out and i went out until about 5:00 in the morning. and then at 8:00 in the morning, i just get a call from the casting agent saying, and, "hey damien." i said, "hey, great, it's 8:00 in the morning what do you want?" and he said "steven spielberg would like to see you in an hour." and i went, "steven who?"

[ light laughter ] >> jimmy: like, not steven spielberg that spielberg. >> you mean steven spielberg. anyway, and then i had like 14 showers. same amount of cups of coffee in one hour. and i rolled up to steven just like this. just going, "hello, steven." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we wanted to cast ozzy osborne for the role but he wasn't available, so -- [ impersonating ozzy ozbourne ] >> jimmy: it's lovely to meet you that was great. >> i don't know how i got that role, but anyway. >> jimmy: you got that role and boy, you hit a home run with that one. and that led to movies and then which led to "homeland." >> yes. >> jimmy: "homeland," if you haven't seen the show, available now on itunes and downloadable. and you can get the dvd of it. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and just binge watch it. [ light laughter ] know what i'm talking about? >> it is 'cause it's very -- yeah, it's very hooky. >> jimmy: yeah, you can watch it -- >> you get to the end of one episode and you roll right into the next. i just met someone actually who did 12 hours straight. >> jimmy: yeah. so people are binge watching these shows. they get them. i did it with "24." you guys do it with "24?" [ cheers ] you get the dvds, that's the

best way to watch it. and the you go, wait i've been in my living room for 24 hours. [ laughter ] >> yeah. could someone remove my bedpan? >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] if you're lucky enough to have one. but the president of the united states loved "homeland." he says it's his favorite show. >> he -- yes. i was invited to the white house in april with my wife. it was quite extraordinary. i clapped myself. [ laughter ] it was -- [ applause ] it was an unforgettable night and then the beautiful marquee they had on the south lawn. and helen, my wife, we we're just convinced we were going to be sitting by the toilets. [ laughter ] and we were sitting at the president's table and i was right opposite him. >> jimmy: really? >> and asked him when he watched the show, and he said, "well, michelle and the girls, they go play tennis on saturday afternoon and i go in the oval office, i pretend i'm going to work, and i watch "homeland." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's pretty great. >> isn't that great. don't call the president on a saturday afternoon.

>> jimmy: he's busy. >> he's watching a show. >> jimmy: he's watching television. yeah, absolutely. >> but isn't he an amazing man? i mean, in the flesh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. how many presidential -- you feel safe around him. >> he exudes an incredible charisma, which i wasn't anticipating for some reason. i don't know why not. but i was amazing. >> jimmy: really? i expected it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: when i first met the president, it was a fourth of july. i did a standup thing a the white house for these veterans. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i went, and i wore a suit just like this, and it's fourth of july in washington, d.c.. it's 150 degrees out and i'm wearing a suit and i'm opening up for the foo fighters. and they show up in surf shorts and t-shirts. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: because they can, they're the foo fighters. but i show up. i'm me. so i'm lucky to be there. so i'm there in a suit. i'm sweating. i go up to meet to the president and first lady. i'm nervous about what to say to them. i'm so sweaty that they start laughing at me. [ laughter ] and michelle obama goes, "you look so hot. do you want to loosen your tie?" and president obama goes, "didn't you get the memo? it's a barbecue." [ laughter ]

and then they pushed me out of the way and i never saw them again. [ laughter ] but here we are. i swear that's true. so here we are, "homeland" season two, it's a very secretive show. can you tell us what this about in season two, or no? or can you set up the show in general? >> the show in general. the show in general is about a tall red headed brit playing a muslim with an american accent trying to blow up the white house. >> jimmy: there you go guys. that's basically what "homeland" is about. [ applause ] >> no. basically -- it's about a returning marine who returns a hero because he's recovered from a hole which he's been in here for eight years. and everyone believes him to be a hero except for claire danes' character, the brilliant claire danes who plays carrie mathison who is a cia agent. she's a little temperamental and volatile, but she believes this guy might have been turned and might be trouble. and that sets it up. >> jimmy: there you go right there. i won't tell you more except to watch this because it is good. here is a clip from this sunday's first episode of "homeland" season two.

>> nicholas, we're at war. you need to choose sides. >> knows which side i'm on. i killed tom walker. >> and i'm sure some part of you has to -- if your allegiance is truly with us, this is your chance to prove it. contact me when you have the target list. >> jimmy: yeah, that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to emmy award-winner damien lewis! [ cheers and applause ] do not miss the premiere of "homeland" season two this sunday 10:00 p.m. on showtime. we're cooking with jeff mauro after the break, stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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get your cash back. chase freedom. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest was the winner of the seventh season of "food network star" and now he's the host of "$24 in 24" and "sandwich king" on food network. please welcome chef jeff mauro, right there. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: everything smells good already. i'm happy you're here. what are we making first? we're starting with a cocktail. >> cocktail. we're doing the new tequila. it's like the new scotch in the world. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> it's called mezcal. >> jimmy: mezcal. >> we've had it, right? >> jimmy: we have nothing but drunks in our audience. [ cheers and applause ] >> it's like a smokier -- >> jimmy: okay, yeah, interesting. >> it's -- it's a little more complex. it's usually roasted for three

days. the agave, in there. >> jimmy: roasted -- agave is a syrup? >> agave is like a big plant. kind of looks like a huge pineapple and that's where we get tequila from. but this is a different process. usually roasted for three days. >> jimmy: really? >> it's like -- >> jimmy: smokey. it's smokier. >> it's like tequila's older brother. >> jimmy: oh, that's cool. >> you know, it like lives in the garage and like, has a camaro. [ laughter ] like bench presses. but now he's grown up and he's like, got a couple kids. his wife tolerates him. >> jimmy: okay, very good. good back story for this. >> so, now -- now, it's a little more refined. this is what you usually see the worm in, back -- you know -- >> jimmy: oh, really? >> the bottle. >> jimmy: they don't do worms anymore. >> no, well, there's laws. you know? there's regulations. you can't put bugs in booze. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what has the world come to? yeah. >> right. it's a little simple syrup. >> jimmy: okay? >> sweeten it up. >> jimmy: very good. >> a little bit. >> jimmy: okay. >> this is like, kinda your grownup margarita. >> jimmy: okey-doke. and what is this? lime? >> so, some fresh lime juice -- throw that in there. >> jimmy: lime juice. >> let's give a couple -- these guys in there. oops -- >> jimmy: they look pretty good. hey!-oh! [ light laughter ] that's good, right? and shake it on up? >> you almost -- >> jimmy: all right, now what do we do? >> shake it up and then we --

>> jimmy: pour it in my mouth? >> pour it in there and right here -- this is some rock salt with fresh cilantro. you blend that up. instead of just your plain, old -- >> jimmy: rock salt with cilantro. >> yeah, salt -- you got that -- you got nice color to it. >> jimmy: all right, good. >> you can put a couple more -- >> jimmy: and then lime in there? i just see it there so i'm assuming it in there. what is the bitters for? >> the bitters -- a couple dashes of that at the end just to even it out. >> jimmy: all right, good. >> right. make it -- 'cause everybody's got this lying around. you gotta use it once in a while. >> jimmy: i don't think so. but there ya go -- that's a tasty bev. >> it's unbelievs. [ light laughter ] do you love it? [ cheers and applause ] it's all right. [ shouts in spanish ] here we go. >> all right, here we go. now, let's do the -- now, we're gonna make my fried meatball sandwich. >> jimmy: now, fried meatball -- look at the size of this thing. >> that is -- those are three pound patties, just about. look at that -- look at -- you're good with the spatula. you must've worked a line, once in a time. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> but, so all we do -- we got five eggs in here and my rule of thumb at home, everybody is -- that's a lot of beef. >> jimmy: yeah. >> some pork and some ground veal. an egg per pound. so, we got five pounds of beef -- [ in unison ]

>> five eggs. >> jimmy: very good. and you just out that right in there. mix those eggs up. don't be scared. >> don't be scared. >> jimmy: garlic -- >> of course. we got a little romano cheese. that's your standard sheep's milk. when my mom makes this at home, boom. she always chooses romano, right? >> jimmy: yeah, romano, okay. >> so, just put -- put it all in there. what the hell? >> jimmy: yeah, what do you got? garlic? -- garlic? >> about one of those. we do wanna smooch -- not me and you, smooch at the end of the night. but if you're with your lady friend -- >> jimmy: you've been drinking too much of that mezcal, my friend. [ light laughter ] you might get lucky. i gotta be honest. >> some panko bread crumbs. great breading to use in this. >> jimmy: bread crumbs are always good. >> throw 'em in there. highly-seasoned. how do you know if your meatball's seasoned? my mom, my grandma, old school method. they would take a bit of the meat and try it raw. >> jimmy: raw? >> i have not built up the tolerance that these -- >> jimmy: my grandmother'd just drop it on the ground and then pick it up and put it on the plate and -- >> exactly. >> jimmy: go, "just eat it. [ light laughter ] shut up!" >> "you'll love it!" >> jimmy: yeah. "trust me." she blesses to god and then -- >> so, what i do -- i throw a sampler on there. >> jimmy: okay? >> and that's how i know if the seasoning's on. you cook that through. you take a bite. you realize -- >> jimmy: have you always been into sandwiches? >> always.

ever since -- my mom -- i'm one of four kids. very large italian-american family from chicago. and my mom got fed up at a young age. >> jimmy: yeah? >> you know, she was like, "i'm done with you guys. you guys make your own lunch." so, i would pack my own lunch but i would -- i learned that if i separated every ingredient in its own baggy, it would be the most tastiest sandwich possible. granted, i was the only chubby kid alone at the lunch table -- [ light laughter ] constructing sandwiches from scraps. >> jimmy: how embarrassing! like, "that kid's the nerdiest! he makes his own sandwiches! spends an hour on a sandwich!" >> it wasn't great for my eighth grade make out record, you know? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. but now you can look back. who's got the tv show? >> hey! i got two of 'em! whoo! ♪ >> jimmy: all right, so, we put the meatball on the -- oh my gosh -- >> you wanna cook these through, right? >> jimmy: what is -- what kind of bread is that? focaccia? >> this is ciabatta. >> jimmy: oh, sorry. >> well, you were close. you were about nine syllables off. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: so, what's the difference between focaccia and -- >> it was a guy. there was tony ciabatta and johnny focaccia. they each had their own type of bread. i don't know but this one is a little more -- this is almost like your italian

english muffin, where focaccia is more a -- a doughy, sometimes made with -- >> jimmy: with rosemary and all that stuff. >> -- rosemary and potato. delicious. >> jimmy: you got pickled veggies over there? >> these are -- this is not just pickled veggies. these are your oil-packed hot giardiniera. if your -- have ever been in chicago, had and italian beef sandwich -- >> jimmy: yeah, i have. >> this goes on everything. >> jimmy: really? >> so, this is my homemade stuff. it's got cauliflower, carrots, red bell peppers -- >> jimmy: dude, are you putting out a cookbook? is one coming out? >> god willing, i hope. but, you know, there's people -- there's a lot of people fighting to get my cookbook out there. >> jimmy: no, you should have cookbook out there. >> we're working on it. we just started working on it. >> jimmy: you are? 'cause i love sandwiches. blt is my favorite sandwich. >> i love a blt. >> jimmy: but no mayonnaise, though. i don't like mayonnaise. >> i'm not a mayonnaise guy either. >> it reminds me of pus. [ laughter ] >> it's like -- you know, right? like, when you're in the mirror -- [ audience groans ] >> jimmy: all right. sorry, everybody, i had to -- >> i'm about to eat, here. >> jimmy: oh no, yeah but there's no mayonnaise on this guy. >> you got some roasted peppers, right? give it a little color. a little -- >> jimmy: got a little sauce on there. >> now, what i -- you can put a little bit to adhere everything but i like to serve with a little sidecar of sauce on the -- s